A Movie and an Impulse Purchase

Last night I woke up with horrible stomach cramps...it was like contractions, only worse, and in the wrong place. I am rather sure I had food poisoning. I threw up and threw up for over an hour, and then laid and moaned for another hour while my stomach just cramped. It finally let up, but it was really not a pleasant experience. Luckily I am better now.

Since I was sick last night, we took it easy today, and ended up going out for our first movie since our son was born. This has been a big gap in our life, since normally my husband and I see a movie almost every week. We both worked at a movie theater at one point, so we had free movies for so long that we just got used to seeing everything. We saw Gnomeo & Juliet, and had the theater all to ourselves, so the little bit of fussing our little one did didn't matter. It was nice to feel sort of normal again, and just see a movie.

We then went to an art store here in town, and I made an impulse purchase...yes, yes, an impulse purchase. You see, since before he was born, I have had my eye on this print called "Dancing Bears" for his nursery. Well, the print was cheap ($30, and it is quite large), but I needed a frame. Wouldn't you know, they do custom frames there. Before I knew it, I was spending $140 to frame this print...

I know, I know...why would I pay that much...I don't know. It is adorable...the colors are the same as the scheme I am using, and it is just whimsical. Plus, I can put it out in our house after he is done with it. It is actually a very famous painting and not meant to be "kiddy". Should I have done it...probably not...will it bother me for days...probably. But it is done now, and you know what, it is going to look adorable over his crib.

A wonderful quote for the day: "Sometimes, the smallest things take up the most room in your heart." - Winnie the Pooh. I think that is the perfect quote for moms.

Such a long day...

Such a long day today. Up at 6am to go and oversee the youth breakfast fundraiser we do each month with our youth group. For one reason or another, only one of our kids showed up to help, and she showed up late. I understand that teenagers are not the most responsible people in the world...but if they want to take big trips, they need to come help raise the money...

Okay...that is my rant for the day.

We got a changing table today off craigslist...and the mom we got it from was so sweet. It was only $15, and yes, it needs a little touch-up paint (it's white), but I like projects like that anyway. Let me tell you, a changing table makes cloth diapering so much more organized. And now I have my bathroom counter back, since that is where everything was sprawled out before.

Also got our little man a Bumbo today...what an amazing little piece of awesome. He loves to sit up, and can hold his head up really well, but we have to hold him up still, since he wobbles. The Bumbo lets him sit up all by himself, and he seems very pleased. He sort of looked suprised to be sitting up and seeing me on the other side of the room.

Well, no deep thoughts for the day...but I have not really had much sleep. Good night world, and enjoy the Oscars!

Everything and Nothing

Today, as I was thinking about how my day was going...I realized something. This new life is everything I wished for, and at the same time, nothing like I expected.

I love the baby smiles, the baby laughs, the baby smell. I love having someone to cuddle with during the day (other than my cranky cat). My heart swells with love and pride every time I hold him. I look into his eyes and see my future, his future, and my little piece of immortality. We have created our own fortress against the world...a family. All of this is what I hoped for, and dreamed of when I thought about the children we would have.

But somehow, this new chapter in my life is also nothing like I thought it would be. Now, don't misunderstand me...I expected the dirty diapers, breastfeeding, crying, and lack of sleep. I have younger siblings that I helped take care of (one of my brothers is only 9 years old). Those are not the things that I am referring too. Rather, it is the feeling that all of this is somehow not real. I look at myself in the mirror and some days, I don't see a mother staring back at me. Sometimes I feel like someone is going to rush in and take over, and tell me that I have only been babysitting.

I wonder when the switch is going to flip to full-blown mother. When he starts to crawl, walk, talk? When I start to teach him new things? Will I finally get that feeling when I am taking him to his first day of school?

Motherhood is not just a new chapter in our lives...it is a feeling. And right now, some days I have it, and some days I don't. So even though I am enjoying every second of this journey...I wonder when I will start to feel like I am moving down the tracks?

Suprise!

Poop...poop...poop. Runny poop, orange poop, green poop, poopy diapers, and my favorite sub-species, the suprise poop.

This morning while changing my sons diaper, he pooped. Not just a little, no, it was alot. I removed his diaper, and he pooped all over the changing pad. So you know what I did...laughed (and then made sure he was done before I attempted to clean up).

As a first time mother I am honestly suprised by how much of my day revolves around poop. Cleaning it up, looking at the color, the consistancy, and counting how many times he does poop.

Why is it that when you become a mother seeing poop on your hand is just part of the job? Before becoming a mother, if I discovered poop on my hand, I would have freaked out and bathed my hand in sanitizer. However, I find poop on my hand all the time now (or on my shirt, or pants, or the couch, sheets, etc). Somehow, birthing a child creates an ammunity to the freak-out normally accociated with poop. So as mothers, we calmly wash our hands, change the diapers, and laugh at all the poop in our lives.

My little poop maker

Oh the Fluff!

Cloth diapering is going really well for us so far. No blowouts, even with his BF poos. (By the way, I don't think that non-moms understand how many times a day moms talk about poop)

However, even though I really don't have an issue with prefolds/covers, which is all we use, and want to add a layer of absorbancy without adding bulk. I am considering making some inserts/doublers from microfiber, and just sandwiching that in some natural fiber (cotton, bamboo, etc). That way I have another layer, but it would be thin.

I am also playing with the idea of making my own fitted type dipes. Maybe not with elastic and what not, but at least trim and fitted to him. I know some people use their favorite sposie as a pattern for a good fitted.

We also used his Swaddlebee's fleece cover for the first time today. I loved it! I wish they still made those (I got these on clearance from this store for $5 a few months back). I am going to keep an eye on ebay and diaperswappers for people selling them. I just love how soft the fleece is...it is the ultimate 'fluffy' feeling.

My guilty pleasure purchase for the day was some baby leg warmers. I know that most people use babylegs, but a friend of a friend suggested My Little Legs. Cheaper, and I think they have cuter patterns.

An Introduction

Hello fellow mommas. My name is Samantha, and I am your guide to my crazy life. I have always found an outlet in writing, and I don't think that becoming a mother should change that. However, finding time to write now comes between naps, diapers, and nursing.

I won't go into a huge history of myself, but I will mention what is relevant to my daily life. I have been married to my husband for a bit over two years now, and we had our first child in December. I am still in school, though I have no idea why...I suppose I just don't want to stop going. I take a full-time schedule all online, and between that, my family, and my youth minister job, I stay rather busy.

As far as our child-raising bits and bobs...we cloth diaper, baby-wear, co-sleep, exclusively breastfeed, and practice attachment parenting. I might end up homeschooling our children, but I hope that we can find a way to send them to private school.

My basic reason for starting this blog is to have an outlet, but I hope that it can become more than that. I hope to share my life in a special way, with all the other moms out there. I know that being a SAHM can feel like a bubble...a bubble filled with baby laughter and joy, but also sometimes with loneliness and headaches. I am going to try to be as honest and open as possible in this documentation of our daily life. My only request is that people comment, I love to share thoughts and ideas and hope to reach out in a real way.