Things the Daddy-To-Be Can Do

Here is the picture: You have decided to have a wonderful natural birth. Maybe even out-of-hospital. You are reading and researching and looking up childbirth classes. You are reading birth stories and finding forums online for support from moms who have been-there-done-that.

Now where is Dad in this picture?

Here is what Daddy can do to help you prepare (I will make another post of during labor helpful type things).

1. Be positive. This is the biggie. Mom needs to stay positive, and the person who she is counting on to support her (you!) needs to be positive too.
2. Help her feel beautiful and strong. Tell her. Often. Every day. Repeat as necessary. Feeling confident that her body is awesome, head to toe, will help her mental state of the big day.
3. Get the car ready. Before she is 36 weeks, get the bags packed (but ask her what she wants to take) and get the car seat installed. Get the car seat checked too (you can usually go to the fire station or police station, or a baby store. Call around). Then you and mom will both feel better knowing that everything is ready and safe if labor takes you by surprise. And it always does.
4. Read. Read the birth stories. Watch the birth videos she likes. Talk about whatever she wants to talk about in relation to birth. Read the birth book (or at least the dad chapter) that she gives you.
5. If she wants to talk fears, listen. The act of listening is the best thing you can give to her when she wants to voice those fears. After she voices them, do your research. Find out how to help or avoid that situation and let her know that you are there for her.
6. Be proactive. This goes along with #5. If you think of something you want to know about the birth or labor, find out. Ask the midwife or doctor yourself at the next appointment. Read about it. Google it.
7. Go to the appointments with her (if she wants you there). Try not to miss any. If you are there, you know what is going on and being discussed. You can also help her "pregnancy brain" remember specifics. Trust me, pregnancy is real - more blood goes to the baby, so less goes to the brain. You being there will help her remember what she wants to ask and what was said.
8. Go to the birthing classes.
9. TRUST THAT SHE CAN DO IT.

Now trust me, there are many things that you can do for your partner, and there are lots of books about going out to get ice cream or holding her hair while she pukes. But I never found a book that really covered what dad can do to support a NATURAL birth. So the above is what helped me.