Nipplephobia

I was re-reading Ina May's Guide to Breastfeeding last night (my little one is getting a lazy latch lately), and I came upon the chapter where she speaks about "nipplephobia" in the United States. I couldn't agree more.

Did you know that the government set a goal that 50% of all babies would still be breastfed at 6 months by 2010. Needless to say that did not happen. Currently only about 20%-30% are still breastfed at 6 months. Why would the government set a goal like this and not do anything to help make it happen?

44 states have laws that "allow" mothers to breastfeed anywhere public or private. But only 28 of those states exempt breastfeeding from being grouped into indecent exposure in public. Only Puerto Rico has a law stating that most public places (shopping malls, airports, public government buildings, etc) have separate facilities for breastfeeding and diaper changing that is not in a restroom. In hospitals, mothers are bombarded with formula "gifts" and advertising, and many hospitals do not suggest breastfeeding as the best food for baby. Formula companies somehow get the addresses of mothers and send formula to our homes. I received so much formula at my house, and I never requested any or signed up for "free giveaways" for other baby items.

Breastfeeding is treated as a lifestyle choice instead of a normal, natural process. Breastfeeding is viewed as a hassle by most of the nation. Even worse - breasts are so sexualized in this country that women are made to feel ashamed by feeding their baby in public. This is where "nipplephobia" comes in.

Even here in Florida (where the law has been in place since 1993), where breastfeeding is protected there are stories on the news several times a year about a mother being asked to leave an area to feed her child. These are stories of women who fight back and stand their ground. It makes me wonder how often it happens and women don't do anything.

The discrimination is not only from employees in restaurants or lifeguards at pools. The discrimination also comes from the most unlikely source - other mothers! I have heard from so many mothers that they have been asked to cover up or go the restroom because another mother does not want "her child to see that." How hard would it be for the mother to say that "the baby is eating, since that is where babies get milk from." Most children would just say "okay" and go on with playing. Even if they did ask more questions, breastfeeding is a natural process that children should grow up comfortable with. (We don't stick to babies coming from the stork anymore do we?). If a new generation was raised in a breastfeeding environment, breastfeeding rates would skyrocket when that generation had children.

I wish I could organize a national "nurse-in" and have nursing mothers everywhere unite! Down with the sexualization of breasts, and in with nursing!

Cough...Cough...Cough

I am sick...yep. It's official.

No fever, and no sign of strep so I think it may just be a slight cold.

I would like to thank my Mother-In-Law for coming down to vacation sick without warning us (she said it was allergies...turns out it wasn't) and getting my husband and I sick.

I just praise God that our son has not gotten sick. Things hit babies so much worse than adults.

Send feel-good vibes my way...I need them!

Rock-a-by and Goodnight

You know, what you do with your child at night is a heated debate with people who do not live with you, or even know you. If you co-sleep (as we do), you ruffle feathers, if you don't, you upset someone else. If you nurse to put your baby to sleep, or use a swing, you get looks...using a paci, a noise machine...well, you get the picture...you always upset someone.

Why is it that how my baby sleeps, where, when, and how long is a subject worth discussing with everyone who looks at my child?

I will admit, that I have just started to tell people that he is a miracle baby who sleeps through the night, on his own, at 12 weeks old. It is no use to tell people that his stomach is not big enough to hold a full night's food in it, or that I really don't mind being woken up to nurse (since we are both only half awake and just doze off in the process anyway).

The piece of advice I hate the most: give him cereal. (Sorry if I offend anyone...or if the person who keeps giving me that advice reads this). He is not ready for cereal. No matter how many times I repeat that the doctor says no solids (including runny cereal) until six months...the advice is repeated like a broken record.

So next time that advice or any other little gem is given to me I will smile and say "I'll give that a try" and hope they don't see through the veneer of a smile or the notice the sarcasm. So mommas...goodnight...and send your baby to dreamland in any way you wish...you won't get advice from me.

The Mommy Club

So I am realizing more and more that I have been inducted into a society...a club...a sorority. The "Mommy Club". All of a sudden, no matter where I go, other moms talk to me, give me (usually unwanted) advice, compare baby size/sleep patterns, ask me personal questions...I didn't realize that all of a sudden this was all okay.

Now don't get me wrong, saying "Hi" to other moms in the store doesn't always irk me, but all the time? Just once I would like to go into the store and back out without a conversation with someone I don't know. And to ask questions like "Are you breastfeeding?" or "Did you heal okay?" when I just met you in the soup aisle...that is a bit weird for me.

So if you are "that mom", please don't be offended...just think about how weird a question like that is when I don't know you...at all.

The Clown Show

I got an inspiration while reading "O" magizine. (I am normally not a magazine reader, but this month's "O" is about organization...which I need in a major way).

One of the articles in the magazine talks about the crazy life that most of us lead...the "clown show" that we call life.

What would we say if we could watch ourselves...cleaning up poop explosions (which I did twice this morning), bouncing around and dancing like a crazy person with a baby on your hip, trying to balance school, work, and home...making time for a distracted husband who will not get off his phone, remembering to call my parents, getting ready for a vacation that the funds have disappeared for...

This is the crazy thing we call life. If I were looking in from the outside, I would pity the women I saw most days. However, looking at it from a personal perspective, we all do the best we can. Some days I am put together and sane looking and my hair gets brushed...other days I wake up and can't even remember how the baby got into the bed with us when I last remember him being in his swing.

I think what the "O" writer meant by "clown show" is that we try to fit alot of life into each day...and sometimes it doesn't all fit. But when it does, it makes us smile and laugh, and that makes it all worth while.

Immunizations and Mommy Guilt

Well, our little one got his first set of shots today...I was so not looking forward to that. (And just as a side note, I respect the decision of those parents who choose not to vax, I don't judge, so please don't blast this). He has already had a rough week or so since he was sick last week and needed an IV and lots of ultrasounds at the hospital...and then we take him to the doctor and he gets poked more. His little face and the cry was a heart breaking moment. But, I am not so worried about having him around people now.

I didn't know that they now do a vaccine for Rota Virus, but I am super happy about it. I remember my little brother being hospitalized with Rota Virus and it was so hard for him to bounce back from it. Our doctor said that it has almost made his "diarrhea business" disappear, which is very, very good news for us moms.

Now after the vaccines he is sleeping like a...well...baby. He just wakes to eat and get a diaper change, and then drifts off to sleep again. If he is still super sleepy tomorrow, I may call the doctor, but for today, I think he is just trying to process what a tough day it was.

So, though I feel a bit of guilt over letting them stick my little boy, I feel like I am doing the best thing for him. That is all that can be asked of mothers, right?

Alone and Together

Two revelations for today.

One: I feel alone, but I am never alone. Two: I need people to be "together" with.

As for the first revelation...I had a bit of a breakdown today. I am a stay-at-home mom, which is such a blessing (especially in this economy) and I would not want to change that for anything. I am starting to realize more and more each day how much work being a mother is. Not so much in the physical tasks (though my back does hurt more than it ever has), but the emotional tasks. When I am not directly taking care of my son, I am taking care of the house or working on school on the computer. When that is done I try to take a shower...maybe have some food other than crackers (or other one handed/no preparation foods).

When my husband is home he tries to take over on the child-care side of things, but that is normally when I have to take a test or fold the laundry. By the time that is done, my son is hungry again, and we sit down to nurse. Most days it seems like a never-ending cycle, which would explain why I can't keep track of what day of the week it is. Even when I have no school work, and the house is clean, and my husband is watching our son...I forget to have "me" time. I am to the point of having to be reminded to have alone time. I think that is one of the reasons I started this blog...to remind myself to have some "me" time.

As for the second revelation: I need people to be "together" with. Though I need "me" time, I also need friend time. I used to get this when I worked; I would go out with the girls after work or go to the theme parks with them (I worked at both Disney and Universal). We don't live near family anymore, so I don't have my mom and dad around (who I am very close with). All of our friends left our town about the same time we did, so even if we did move back, there is no one there. I just need some social time...I don't really need a new best friend or anything, but just some other couples to be social with.

Those are my thoughts for the day...oh, and that I wish my husband didn't like American Idol...three nights a week of taking over the TV is a bit much.