My thoughts on ABORTION

That's right...I said it. Abortion. That thing you are not supposed to talk about. Because it makes people mad. It makes people defensive. So, I'm going to talk about it.

My basic thoughts on abortion are this: I don't agree with it for me, personally. I think that it should be reserved for A) Rape or incest cases, where the mother feels emotionally unable to carry to term; B) Major medical issues for mother or baby, meaning that mother or baby would be killed/maimed/harmed from the birth. I can say now that "I would never have an abortion", but I have also never been in a situation where I would have to consider one. If I were to find out that (God forbid) my next child were to be born with a massive physical deformity that would render their life painful, I don't know what I would do.

Now, the bigger reason that I want to discuss this.

The point of allowing abortion in the first place, was to give women the ultimate control over their body and reproduction. This allowed women to chose, safely, to not have a child that they did not want or could not take care of. Some people may not understand that stance, but that is the basis of why abortion is legal.

Now, if you take that right away, then you have to ask the question....who is in control of the woman's body? The woman? The baby? The medical world? The government? And where does that control stop? Where is the line drawn? Is birth control outlawed? Technically, you are "aborting" a pregnancy before it has a chance to start, if you think that conception is the start of life. It is common knowledge that the egg and sperm meet before the body is "pregnant" (they meet in the Fallopian tubes). The fertilized egg has to implant into the side of the uterus before the body recognizes that you are pregnant. Birth control stops an egg from being able to implant (by messing with the lining that it would implant in). So by not letting that fertilized egg implant, you are stopping that baby from growing and ultimately being born. So if abortion is outlawed, it is only one more step to outlawing birth control.

With those two steps, a woman has little control over her reproduction. Now lets take it to the next step.

A woman gets pregnant, whether on purpose or not. She receives prenatal care, and comes to the end of the journey and gives birth. How does she give birth? Can she have a home birth? Use a birth center? Use a midwife at all? Can she decide to have a Cesarean Section if that is what she wants? If we do not have control over our reproduction anymore, then who is to say that we have control over how the birth happens? Where is happens? With who?

Did you know that even now, a woman can be forced by court order to have a Cesarean Section against her will? Such as this case. There are also untold cases of women who are coerced into a cesarean by her doctor, as the stories on sites such as The Unnecesarean share from women all over. Women are basically forced by hospitals and the "establishment" to have multiple Cesareans based on guidelines given by ACOG (even though with every Cesarean, the risk of complications rises). Very few hospitals allow VBACs (vaginal birth after cesarean), even though they are a much safer option for most mothers based on research. These women are forced to either go it alone or bend to the will of the doctors and hospitals if they have no other options in the area (such as a midwife who takes on VBACs).

Many states still "outlaw" homebirth, or make it very hard for midwives to practice. This means that the choice in birth is taken away for many women. If you do not have access to choice, then you have no choice.

Where do we draw the line? Where do we think that the government will draw the line? I am not willing to let them draw that line on me, my body, my baby, or my family. If agreeing to keep abortion legal and safe means that my other reproductive and bodily rights are respected, then so be it.

Can I have one please?



Fountain in Italy

 Santa, I would like one of these for my front yard. I would like one in every town, in the major shopping center, or in the middle of the mall. I would like for every mother to see this. I would like for every artist to take in the beauty and create more of it.

A nursing mother is a wonderful, beautiful image. The abundance that a woman creates is magic. Maybe if more mothers, girls, and families saw something like this, nursing rates would be better in the United States. Milk production, otherwise known as lactation, is not something to hide. It is not shameful. It should not be put in the category as the other excrement of the body. This is not "bathroom" material, this is food for babies. The natural, normal food for babies.

I posted this to my Facebook as well. I hope that it makes someone smile, giggle, blush, or even get mad. I want the world to see nursing, mommy milk, and lactation in general as normal and beautiful.

(And for the record, this picture did make me giggle. I love it.)

Almost there...

Soon 'A' will be a year old. Wow how the time has flown!

We have almost made it to a year of breastfeeding (never a drop of formula) and a year of cloth diapering. I am so excited to be able to say that we did it. Through negative comments, weird looks, and luke-warm enthusiasm for our plan, we did it.

On the just-mommy side of the world, the semester is almost over. Two exams down, two to go. I am so ready to be done.

The Countdown begins...

Less than a month to my boys 1st birthday...

This is so bittersweet. I love that he is growing and learning, but my heart aches to bring back my baby. Very rarely does he just lay in my arms and just be sweet...he now has to pull on my ears, hair, poke me, wiggle, giggle...basically anything he can do (which is alot now!).

He will be 1 on Dec 29th....right after Christmas. I think we are going to have his party the weekend after New Years though...since if you look at the calender his birthday does not fall on a convienant day. Oh well, at 1 he won't really know that.

We are having a Mickey party...Mickey is a rock star in this house. His "smash cake" will be a replica of his Mickey ear hat that we got him on his first trip to Walt Disney World (at not quite 3 months old), and I am making cupcakes for everyone else. Red, Black, and White streamers and ballons, and various Mickey themed stuff. I am looking forward to it, even if he will only remember it by pictures later in life.

Bittersweet moments. I also can not believe that it has been almost a year since his birth changed me forever. I became a mother and it sparked my passion into a full fledge flame - midwifery. His birth was so wonderful that I can't wait to be in labor and give birth again...just have to get pregnant first. (We are waiting another year or so though, dear readers...)

Time to go to bed...I have no idea why I am still up.

Like this, only without the hat and with the Micky emblem on one side, and this name on the other, like his real hat.

The Multiple Personalities of a Nursing Mother of an (Almost) Toddler

Tomorrow my son will be 11 months old. Goodness...that is so bittersweet. He is (almost) a toddler now...since I consider a toddler to be a walking baby (hence toddling along = toddler).

5am - Daddy brings in a very happy baby who is giggling and blowing raspberries while nursing. Nurses both sides and then does the little back-and-forth dance and is done. He lays down in the pack-n-play at the end of the bed and sleeps.

8:30am - I hear a crying baby in my dreams. No, wait, that is my real baby, yelling at me to get up. He nurses again on both sides, giggles and plays, and is ready to go out to the living room to say good morning to his toys and Mickey on the TV.

9:15am - I hear screaming coming from the region on my knee. I look down at my son who's face is set in a look of pure agony. He pulls on my shirt and screams at me some more. I put him on my lap and release the boobies and he nurses roughly for about 2 secs on each side and hops down. I put the boobies away and he screams at me some more.

This behavior continued until noon. He was nursing 5-7 times an hour. After his nap at noon, he was fine again. It's like this angry, rough baby steals my baby away in the late morning.

Also, when that angry, rough baby comes to play at our house a very frazzled, tired mom comes and takes my place as well. I know that loosing my patience is not nice. I feel like a bad mom. However, there are times that I simply have to let him cry a little on the floor while I creep up into a ball in the corner of the couch. This does not mean that I am ready to stop nursing...this does not mean that I am going to reach for a bottle...this does not mean that I am a bad mom. This simply means that this morning, nursing was rough. Tonight it was bliss again.

Nursing moms of rowdy babies...you are not alone. I hear you.

Almost Walking, Football, and Thanksgiving

Well our little man is almost walking. He takes a step at a time, pauses, and drops to the floor or grabs onto something. He does not like to hold our hands and walk...he is like "Dude, I can crawl faster...let me down." Our wonderful little boy is however doing chin-ups on our baby gates though, which are taller than him. Thank God we invested in strong, attached to the wall types.

Every Saturday at our house is football day...and I mean all day. Now, please don't get me wrong, I love College ball (Go Florida!), but watching random games all day is a bit much. But don't try to tell my husband that.

A's first Thanksgiving was great and he ate like a horse. We let him sort of go wild and he really did...and was put right into the bath afterwards. :) Cooking for so many people was a bit stressfull, but I enjoyed it. Just wish that I could not get behind every year. Those turkeys never want to finish in a timely manner.

We are going to start decorating for Christmas this week and next, and I think we are getting a tree over the weekend. We have to get a real tree (I'm a stickler for a real tree) and I think we may get like an eight foot one. Yay!

Applause Appreciated

*Clap* *Clap* *Clap*

Such a simple action and I cried about it today.

Mostly because it was my 10 month old son doing it.

After working on that all week with him (with him looking at me like "Mom, you have lost your mind") he clapped today! Naturally it was with Daddy, when I was off taking a test at the college. They were watching an African cultural dance performace and they started to clap and so did he. Then he turned and waved and pointed to the audiance (to make sure they knew he was there I suppose) and then went back to clapping with the performers. Daddy said he stole the show.

He is also going to sleep on his own now, no need for rocking. I cried about that tonight. I miss my little baby. I laugh and love and spout joy with every new thing he does, but I also cry a little on the inside (sometimes on the outside too) since I know that he is one step closer to not being a baby at all anymore, but a little boy.

Bittersweet.