When I Say....

There was a blog post on The Leaky B@@b recently that I loved. It talked about common things that breastfeeding supporters say that sometimes hurt the feelings of/rile up/piss off formula moms. I wanted to make a similar post about natural birth supporters and mothers and those who get mad at their stories. Here is goes:

"Having a Natural Birth was the most special experience of my life."

 Translation: This does not mean that we think any birth that is not natural is not special. We simply mean what the statement says - we truly feel that our birth was amazing and it was made so not just because the baby came out of the deal, but because we had the natural birth we wanted/hoped/planned for. This does not mean that your cesarean section or medicated birth was any less special. This statement is not about you.

"I would never give birth in a hospital."

Translation: This means that I would not have a birth in a hospital (barring major medical need). This does not mean that I think no one should go the hospital. This does not mean that the person saying this is judging your choice to be in a hospital. This statement does not mean that I think home birth is for everyone....I am simply saying that it is for me. This also does not mean that you should start throwing out emergency situations - trust me, I know all about what an emergency would be (and they do not include full term babies, breech, or full term twins). This statement is not about you.

"I didn't want to hand my birth over to a doctor."

Other common phrases that come with this, or close to it, include: "I would not want someone bothering me all the time", "I don't want to be told what I can/can not do in labor", "I don't want to fight for my birth and labor." Translation: This means that I think that in a hospital this would happen. I simply mean that I don't want to do that. Period. This does not mean that I am calling you a sheep-person who follows hospital orders. This statement is not about you.

"I was so amazed at the power of my body."

Translation: This one is simple. My natural birth gave me an insight into my body and the wisdom it has. I didn't need anyone to tell me how to labor, when to labor, how fast to labor, or where to do it. This is a statement of a woman who was changed and empowered by birth. If you have an issue with this statement, it is probably because you are not happy with your birth experience. This statement is not about you.

Do you see a pattern? These statements, which tend to get so much fire and hate in a birth-sharing situation, are not about you. A natural birth mom has every right to say these things, and they are not a judgement. They are about her birth from her perspective. Why is it that mothers who love to tell stories about their "horrific", "horrible", "long", "painful" births can tell their story without issue (normally to a pregnant woman), but a natural birth story is a judgement? Perhaps you are jealous.


Disclaimer: I realize that my post has a bit more snark than the original post that sparked this (posted above). What can I say, I have some strong feelings about this and have had some bad run-ins with people over my birth story.

Sorry for the wait!

Sorry for the break from writing! It has been nuts around here. As an update:

I have been getting crafty thanks to Pinterest ideas, like this melted crayon art:

Very fun to do, and I have an itch to do more. Great way to recycle all those broken and messed up crayons from the kids.

In a week or so I will be going to my first midwifery study group/class. Lets cross our fingers no one goes into labor the day of the class (which is what happened last month so it was canceled). I got my first midwifery text book in the mail last week and have almost read the whole thing...I am so ready to go!

I ordered our chickens, we are getting 1 barred rock, 1 black australorpe, and 3 "easter egger" hens. I am very excited. They will be here around Feb 22nd. Baby chicks! We should have eggs by the spring/summer (when they are 5/6 months old). A long wait for eggs...but after that we have at least two years worth of eggs, so I figure I can wait.

I have started a birth/breastfeeding/baby lending library out of my house. If you have any books you would like to donate...just comment below. I will be using them and saving them for the day I have my own office as a midwife. For now, moms in my community are picking them up at my house to read. Education is so important to birth...and having books available for free helps so many mothers learn their options and educate themselves and their partner. Education is a huge goal for me in my area where midwifery has been "dead" for several generations (as well as breastfeeding).

I hope to be able to post more often over the coming weeks. Hang in there with me. If you have any ideas for new posts, please post below!

Belly Cast Done!

Finally got this thing done...and my son is a year old. After alot of thought, decided to just smooth it out, put a semi-gloss white coat on it, and just write his birth information on the belly.

I was thinking that I was going to do something crazy and creative (I did go to art school after all), but after looking at it I just went for simple.

Here is what I did:

1. Let it dry/cure. I let mine sit a year...totally don't need to do it that long. As long as it is not super humid, a week should be plenty of time
2. I did a light sanding with a fine grain sanding block, just to get off the really rough stuff.
3. I applied joint compound to the whole cast with my fingers, filling in spots and rubbing it into the texture as I went.
4. Let dry again. Make sure you let it go overnight at least.
5. Sand again. If you still have some bad spots, you can do steps 3 and 4 again.
6. Cast is now ready for painting. Apply a coat of Gesso (primer) to get it ready for what ever else you are going to do. If you are going to decoupage it, you can skip the Gesso.

I applied a semi-gloss white paint (it is actually a house trim paint we had left over from doing the house). I then just took a Sharpie and printed his info on the belly. I didn't trim off the rough edges of mine, since I like it. You can trim them with sharp scissors. I would do it before you add the joint compound.

There are a couple things I want to do for the next one. 1) I want to do it standing up...you can cast the underside of the belly and you don't distort the belly shape at all like you do when you are sitting (mine is a little spread out). 2) I want to put his foot prints inside where he kicked the most. I saw this on another blog, and loved the idea. His feet are too big to do it now. 3) I want to take a picture of my baby inside the cast. I wanted to do this, but somehow we forgot, and they grow so fast.

I have this on top of our entertainment center in the living room. :)

Can I have one please?



Fountain in Italy

 Santa, I would like one of these for my front yard. I would like one in every town, in the major shopping center, or in the middle of the mall. I would like for every mother to see this. I would like for every artist to take in the beauty and create more of it.

A nursing mother is a wonderful, beautiful image. The abundance that a woman creates is magic. Maybe if more mothers, girls, and families saw something like this, nursing rates would be better in the United States. Milk production, otherwise known as lactation, is not something to hide. It is not shameful. It should not be put in the category as the other excrement of the body. This is not "bathroom" material, this is food for babies. The natural, normal food for babies.

I posted this to my Facebook as well. I hope that it makes someone smile, giggle, blush, or even get mad. I want the world to see nursing, mommy milk, and lactation in general as normal and beautiful.

(And for the record, this picture did make me giggle. I love it.)