Lately there have been articles on every aspect of child rearing/parenting floating around Facebook. I myself have posted several. Everything from car seat safety (please check the new AAP guidelines) to why I don't practice "Cry It Out" (CIO). While I find reading these articles and studies to be interesting, many moms are openly questioning their way of doing things, or admitting that reading them makes them feel guilty.
Now, we all know that studies and articles siting studies are trying to prove something. They are always going to use the evidence and words that prove their side of the argument. For instance, the the CIO debate, there are articles and studies saying that it is okay for A/B/C reasons, and another article or study that states it is harmful for A/B/C reasons. So what is a parent to do?
Follow your gut.
Chances are, if feel like you are doing the right thing by your child, you are. That is not to say that people don't make mistakes - parents do, everyday. But you have to do what you think is best for your family, situation, and the individual child. I know parents who even parent their individual children differently based on their personality and temperament.
Your personal history has alot to do with this as well. For instance, many of my generation were subjected to CIO as babies, simply because that was in fashion at the time with doctors and experts. My parents have told me stories of me being left in my crib to cry until I finally threw up. They would change me and the bed and put me right back in to continue crying. Would I ever do that? No. Maybe it is because, somewhere in my memory, I remember being left alone.
The same logic of doing what you think is best covers many areas. Are you going to have a junk food free diet for your child? Only feed organic and homemade foods? Extended breastfeeding? Even right down to where/how you give birth is a parenting decision - the first one you will ever make.
Basically, my point is this: Read and look at studies, talk to other parents, but don't let words on paper or in other's mouths judge you. Don't feel guilty for doing what you think is best.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Tear Out My Hair Day
Well, today was a tear out my hair day. This is normally caused by one of several things (or a combination):
1) Sick family
2) Sick me
3) Teething
4) Annoying Facebook comments/messages/people in general
Today it was a cranky baby. God bless my little man, but he was a cranky butt today. I think it is all the new-ness of life right now. He is almost walking, and it scares him when he forgets and lets go of the furniture and takes a step or two. He is trying to cut his "eye" teeth, which are some of the most uncomfortable and take quite a while normally. He is also just sort of needy lately, mostly for the reasons I just stated.
He basically camped out in my lap today, and didn't want to move. That is fine most of the day, but sometimes mommy has to go to the bathroom, or go make a sandwich, or check her email to see if she can finally register for her classes. Every time I had to get up, it was a complete melt down. Tears, snot, screams like he was tortured, the whole bit.
I did have a good day otherwise (and trust me, I know this is just a "season" of his time, and I am happy to comfort him). I got to register for my classes (yay...not really excited about that). I am donating breastmilk for the first time, and a friend is taking it to Memphis for me to drop off to the mom. That is will give me some freezer room...I have over 100 oz in there.
All in all a good day, but we all have times as moms (or dads) when we want to tear out our hair and wave a white flag. That was my day today.
1) Sick family
2) Sick me
3) Teething
4) Annoying Facebook comments/messages/people in general
Today it was a cranky baby. God bless my little man, but he was a cranky butt today. I think it is all the new-ness of life right now. He is almost walking, and it scares him when he forgets and lets go of the furniture and takes a step or two. He is trying to cut his "eye" teeth, which are some of the most uncomfortable and take quite a while normally. He is also just sort of needy lately, mostly for the reasons I just stated.
He basically camped out in my lap today, and didn't want to move. That is fine most of the day, but sometimes mommy has to go to the bathroom, or go make a sandwich, or check her email to see if she can finally register for her classes. Every time I had to get up, it was a complete melt down. Tears, snot, screams like he was tortured, the whole bit.
I did have a good day otherwise (and trust me, I know this is just a "season" of his time, and I am happy to comfort him). I got to register for my classes (yay...not really excited about that). I am donating breastmilk for the first time, and a friend is taking it to Memphis for me to drop off to the mom. That is will give me some freezer room...I have over 100 oz in there.
All in all a good day, but we all have times as moms (or dads) when we want to tear out our hair and wave a white flag. That was my day today.
Face Plant
Okay, prepare to judge my mom skills. Or laugh...either is fine.
Today my son was in his bouncy/jumper thingy (yes, that is the proper name for it). We have used this for months to great success. He gets to stand and bounce/jump, and I know he is in one spot so I can go to the bathroom.
Today we were doing our baby education time (signing, Your Baby Can Read, and a few other things), and he got cranky. I was just finishing an email to my professor, and told him (while sitting right by him, laptop in hand) "Hold on hun, just let mommy send this". He then stopped whining, grabbed the bars that suspend the contraption, and pulled himself out of the thing.
He then dropped right onto his face, sat up, smiled at me, and clapped.
Yes I just sat and watched. Should I have stopped him from face planting? Probably. Did I really just want to see if he could do it? Yes.
I also wanted to make damn sure that we were really done with that bouncy/jumper thingy...now I have to find something else to contain him while I rush to the bathroom to go pee.
Today my son was in his bouncy/jumper thingy (yes, that is the proper name for it). We have used this for months to great success. He gets to stand and bounce/jump, and I know he is in one spot so I can go to the bathroom.
Today we were doing our baby education time (signing, Your Baby Can Read, and a few other things), and he got cranky. I was just finishing an email to my professor, and told him (while sitting right by him, laptop in hand) "Hold on hun, just let mommy send this". He then stopped whining, grabbed the bars that suspend the contraption, and pulled himself out of the thing.
He then dropped right onto his face, sat up, smiled at me, and clapped.
Yes I just sat and watched. Should I have stopped him from face planting? Probably. Did I really just want to see if he could do it? Yes.
I also wanted to make damn sure that we were really done with that bouncy/jumper thingy...now I have to find something else to contain him while I rush to the bathroom to go pee.
Monday, December 12, 2011
My thoughts on ABORTION
That's right...I said it. Abortion. That thing you are not supposed to talk about. Because it makes people mad. It makes people defensive. So, I'm going to talk about it.
My basic thoughts on abortion are this: I don't agree with it for me, personally. I think that it should be reserved for A) Rape or incest cases, where the mother feels emotionally unable to carry to term; B) Major medical issues for mother or baby, meaning that mother or baby would be killed/maimed/harmed from the birth. I can say now that "I would never have an abortion", but I have also never been in a situation where I would have to consider one. If I were to find out that (God forbid) my next child were to be born with a massive physical deformity that would render their life painful, I don't know what I would do.
Now, the bigger reason that I want to discuss this.
The point of allowing abortion in the first place, was to give women the ultimate control over their body and reproduction. This allowed women to chose, safely, to not have a child that they did not want or could not take care of. Some people may not understand that stance, but that is the basis of why abortion is legal.
Now, if you take that right away, then you have to ask the question....who is in control of the woman's body? The woman? The baby? The medical world? The government? And where does that control stop? Where is the line drawn? Is birth control outlawed? Technically, you are "aborting" a pregnancy before it has a chance to start, if you think that conception is the start of life. It is common knowledge that the egg and sperm meet before the body is "pregnant" (they meet in the Fallopian tubes). The fertilized egg has to implant into the side of the uterus before the body recognizes that you are pregnant. Birth control stops an egg from being able to implant (by messing with the lining that it would implant in). So by not letting that fertilized egg implant, you are stopping that baby from growing and ultimately being born. So if abortion is outlawed, it is only one more step to outlawing birth control.
With those two steps, a woman has little control over her reproduction. Now lets take it to the next step.
A woman gets pregnant, whether on purpose or not. She receives prenatal care, and comes to the end of the journey and gives birth. How does she give birth? Can she have a home birth? Use a birth center? Use a midwife at all? Can she decide to have a Cesarean Section if that is what she wants? If we do not have control over our reproduction anymore, then who is to say that we have control over how the birth happens? Where is happens? With who?
Did you know that even now, a woman can be forced by court order to have a Cesarean Section against her will? Such as this case. There are also untold cases of women who are coerced into a cesarean by her doctor, as the stories on sites such as The Unnecesarean share from women all over. Women are basically forced by hospitals and the "establishment" to have multiple Cesareans based on guidelines given by ACOG (even though with every Cesarean, the risk of complications rises). Very few hospitals allow VBACs (vaginal birth after cesarean), even though they are a much safer option for most mothers based on research. These women are forced to either go it alone or bend to the will of the doctors and hospitals if they have no other options in the area (such as a midwife who takes on VBACs).
Many states still "outlaw" homebirth, or make it very hard for midwives to practice. This means that the choice in birth is taken away for many women. If you do not have access to choice, then you have no choice.
Where do we draw the line? Where do we think that the government will draw the line? I am not willing to let them draw that line on me, my body, my baby, or my family. If agreeing to keep abortion legal and safe means that my other reproductive and bodily rights are respected, then so be it.
My basic thoughts on abortion are this: I don't agree with it for me, personally. I think that it should be reserved for A) Rape or incest cases, where the mother feels emotionally unable to carry to term; B) Major medical issues for mother or baby, meaning that mother or baby would be killed/maimed/harmed from the birth. I can say now that "I would never have an abortion", but I have also never been in a situation where I would have to consider one. If I were to find out that (God forbid) my next child were to be born with a massive physical deformity that would render their life painful, I don't know what I would do.
Now, the bigger reason that I want to discuss this.
The point of allowing abortion in the first place, was to give women the ultimate control over their body and reproduction. This allowed women to chose, safely, to not have a child that they did not want or could not take care of. Some people may not understand that stance, but that is the basis of why abortion is legal.
Now, if you take that right away, then you have to ask the question....who is in control of the woman's body? The woman? The baby? The medical world? The government? And where does that control stop? Where is the line drawn? Is birth control outlawed? Technically, you are "aborting" a pregnancy before it has a chance to start, if you think that conception is the start of life. It is common knowledge that the egg and sperm meet before the body is "pregnant" (they meet in the Fallopian tubes). The fertilized egg has to implant into the side of the uterus before the body recognizes that you are pregnant. Birth control stops an egg from being able to implant (by messing with the lining that it would implant in). So by not letting that fertilized egg implant, you are stopping that baby from growing and ultimately being born. So if abortion is outlawed, it is only one more step to outlawing birth control.
With those two steps, a woman has little control over her reproduction. Now lets take it to the next step.
A woman gets pregnant, whether on purpose or not. She receives prenatal care, and comes to the end of the journey and gives birth. How does she give birth? Can she have a home birth? Use a birth center? Use a midwife at all? Can she decide to have a Cesarean Section if that is what she wants? If we do not have control over our reproduction anymore, then who is to say that we have control over how the birth happens? Where is happens? With who?
Did you know that even now, a woman can be forced by court order to have a Cesarean Section against her will? Such as this case. There are also untold cases of women who are coerced into a cesarean by her doctor, as the stories on sites such as The Unnecesarean share from women all over. Women are basically forced by hospitals and the "establishment" to have multiple Cesareans based on guidelines given by ACOG (even though with every Cesarean, the risk of complications rises). Very few hospitals allow VBACs (vaginal birth after cesarean), even though they are a much safer option for most mothers based on research. These women are forced to either go it alone or bend to the will of the doctors and hospitals if they have no other options in the area (such as a midwife who takes on VBACs).
Many states still "outlaw" homebirth, or make it very hard for midwives to practice. This means that the choice in birth is taken away for many women. If you do not have access to choice, then you have no choice.
Where do we draw the line? Where do we think that the government will draw the line? I am not willing to let them draw that line on me, my body, my baby, or my family. If agreeing to keep abortion legal and safe means that my other reproductive and bodily rights are respected, then so be it.
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Can I have one please?
Santa, I would like one of these for my front yard. I would like one in every town, in the major shopping center, or in the middle of the mall. I would like for every mother to see this. I would like for every artist to take in the beauty and create more of it.
A nursing mother is a wonderful, beautiful image. The abundance that a woman creates is magic. Maybe if more mothers, girls, and families saw something like this, nursing rates would be better in the United States. Milk production, otherwise known as lactation, is not something to hide. It is not shameful. It should not be put in the category as the other excrement of the body. This is not "bathroom" material, this is food for babies. The natural, normal food for babies.
I posted this to my Facebook as well. I hope that it makes someone smile, giggle, blush, or even get mad. I want the world to see nursing, mommy milk, and lactation in general as normal and beautiful.
(And for the record, this picture did make me giggle. I love it.)
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| Fountain in Italy |
A nursing mother is a wonderful, beautiful image. The abundance that a woman creates is magic. Maybe if more mothers, girls, and families saw something like this, nursing rates would be better in the United States. Milk production, otherwise known as lactation, is not something to hide. It is not shameful. It should not be put in the category as the other excrement of the body. This is not "bathroom" material, this is food for babies. The natural, normal food for babies.
I posted this to my Facebook as well. I hope that it makes someone smile, giggle, blush, or even get mad. I want the world to see nursing, mommy milk, and lactation in general as normal and beautiful.
(And for the record, this picture did make me giggle. I love it.)
Friday, December 9, 2011
Almost there...
Soon 'A' will be a year old. Wow how the time has flown!
We have almost made it to a year of breastfeeding (never a drop of formula) and a year of cloth diapering. I am so excited to be able to say that we did it. Through negative comments, weird looks, and luke-warm enthusiasm for our plan, we did it.
On the just-mommy side of the world, the semester is almost over. Two exams down, two to go. I am so ready to be done.
We have almost made it to a year of breastfeeding (never a drop of formula) and a year of cloth diapering. I am so excited to be able to say that we did it. Through negative comments, weird looks, and luke-warm enthusiasm for our plan, we did it.
On the just-mommy side of the world, the semester is almost over. Two exams down, two to go. I am so ready to be done.
Saturday, December 3, 2011
The Countdown begins...
Less than a month to my boys 1st birthday...
This is so bittersweet. I love that he is growing and learning, but my heart aches to bring back my baby. Very rarely does he just lay in my arms and just be sweet...he now has to pull on my ears, hair, poke me, wiggle, giggle...basically anything he can do (which is alot now!).
He will be 1 on Dec 29th....right after Christmas. I think we are going to have his party the weekend after New Years though...since if you look at the calender his birthday does not fall on a convienant day. Oh well, at 1 he won't really know that.
We are having a Mickey party...Mickey is a rock star in this house. His "smash cake" will be a replica of his Mickey ear hat that we got him on his first trip to Walt Disney World (at not quite 3 months old), and I am making cupcakes for everyone else. Red, Black, and White streamers and ballons, and various Mickey themed stuff. I am looking forward to it, even if he will only remember it by pictures later in life.
Bittersweet moments. I also can not believe that it has been almost a year since his birth changed me forever. I became a mother and it sparked my passion into a full fledge flame - midwifery. His birth was so wonderful that I can't wait to be in labor and give birth again...just have to get pregnant first. (We are waiting another year or so though, dear readers...)
Time to go to bed...I have no idea why I am still up.
This is so bittersweet. I love that he is growing and learning, but my heart aches to bring back my baby. Very rarely does he just lay in my arms and just be sweet...he now has to pull on my ears, hair, poke me, wiggle, giggle...basically anything he can do (which is alot now!).
He will be 1 on Dec 29th....right after Christmas. I think we are going to have his party the weekend after New Years though...since if you look at the calender his birthday does not fall on a convienant day. Oh well, at 1 he won't really know that.
We are having a Mickey party...Mickey is a rock star in this house. His "smash cake" will be a replica of his Mickey ear hat that we got him on his first trip to Walt Disney World (at not quite 3 months old), and I am making cupcakes for everyone else. Red, Black, and White streamers and ballons, and various Mickey themed stuff. I am looking forward to it, even if he will only remember it by pictures later in life.
Bittersweet moments. I also can not believe that it has been almost a year since his birth changed me forever. I became a mother and it sparked my passion into a full fledge flame - midwifery. His birth was so wonderful that I can't wait to be in labor and give birth again...just have to get pregnant first. (We are waiting another year or so though, dear readers...)
Time to go to bed...I have no idea why I am still up.
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| Like this, only without the hat and with the Micky emblem on one side, and this name on the other, like his real hat. |
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