When I Say....

There was a blog post on The Leaky B@@b recently that I loved. It talked about common things that breastfeeding supporters say that sometimes hurt the feelings of/rile up/piss off formula moms. I wanted to make a similar post about natural birth supporters and mothers and those who get mad at their stories. Here is goes:

"Having a Natural Birth was the most special experience of my life."

 Translation: This does not mean that we think any birth that is not natural is not special. We simply mean what the statement says - we truly feel that our birth was amazing and it was made so not just because the baby came out of the deal, but because we had the natural birth we wanted/hoped/planned for. This does not mean that your cesarean section or medicated birth was any less special. This statement is not about you.

"I would never give birth in a hospital."

Translation: This means that I would not have a birth in a hospital (barring major medical need). This does not mean that I think no one should go the hospital. This does not mean that the person saying this is judging your choice to be in a hospital. This statement does not mean that I think home birth is for everyone....I am simply saying that it is for me. This also does not mean that you should start throwing out emergency situations - trust me, I know all about what an emergency would be (and they do not include full term babies, breech, or full term twins). This statement is not about you.

"I didn't want to hand my birth over to a doctor."

Other common phrases that come with this, or close to it, include: "I would not want someone bothering me all the time", "I don't want to be told what I can/can not do in labor", "I don't want to fight for my birth and labor." Translation: This means that I think that in a hospital this would happen. I simply mean that I don't want to do that. Period. This does not mean that I am calling you a sheep-person who follows hospital orders. This statement is not about you.

"I was so amazed at the power of my body."

Translation: This one is simple. My natural birth gave me an insight into my body and the wisdom it has. I didn't need anyone to tell me how to labor, when to labor, how fast to labor, or where to do it. This is a statement of a woman who was changed and empowered by birth. If you have an issue with this statement, it is probably because you are not happy with your birth experience. This statement is not about you.

Do you see a pattern? These statements, which tend to get so much fire and hate in a birth-sharing situation, are not about you. A natural birth mom has every right to say these things, and they are not a judgement. They are about her birth from her perspective. Why is it that mothers who love to tell stories about their "horrific", "horrible", "long", "painful" births can tell their story without issue (normally to a pregnant woman), but a natural birth story is a judgement? Perhaps you are jealous.


Disclaimer: I realize that my post has a bit more snark than the original post that sparked this (posted above). What can I say, I have some strong feelings about this and have had some bad run-ins with people over my birth story.

On the Way!

I am lining up an apprenticeship as we speak. Lets cross our fingers that my last obstacle moves out of the way...my car. We have someone coming to look at it tomorrow, and he thinks that it will be an easy fix at this point. I sure hope so. I need that baby to run well so that I can drive all over the place for births and prenatal appointments.

Finding this apprenticeship just sort of fell in my lap, which was a surprise since so many midwives say the hardest part in becoming one is finding an apprenticeship. I am in an area where midwifery is available but border line illegal. So midwives sort of practice under the radar and cross their fingers a lot.

I had emailed this particular midwife a month or so ago, and got a good response back, saying that she was looking for an assistant in my area (she covers a HUGE radius). I wanted to meet with her, but had not gotten a response. I went to my midwifery class a week ago (which was awesome BTW), and they all told me that the midwife I contacted was awesome and that I should jump on the chance to work with here. A few emails later, and we are lining up a meeting and hopefully I will start to work with her by the spring. Yay!

She has even said that due to her not having any help close to my area that she wants to put me on a fast track so that I will attend births sooner than her assistants in more staffed areas. She is also totally on board with signing off on NARM skills and helping me get ready for that as well. I am hoping in 3-4 years I will be sitting for the NARM exam and be an independent midwife.

I am very, very, very excited about all of this. I have the feeling that this is what God intends for me...after all, why else would it all fall into place so easily?

WTF of the Week

Breastfeeding rates across the nation...guess who is the lowest?

MISSISSIPPI. Which would be the state I live in.

Only 8% of moms are still providing the most wonderful, all powerful, mommy milk at 12 months.

I am one of those moms. I hope to bring more into the fold with me.

Not only does MS have one of the highest teen pregnancy rates, highest obesity rates, and some of the lowest incomes in the nation...but we have more formula fed babies than anywhere else too. Great. Put that on the brochures.

Sorry for the wait!

Sorry for the break from writing! It has been nuts around here. As an update:

I have been getting crafty thanks to Pinterest ideas, like this melted crayon art:

Very fun to do, and I have an itch to do more. Great way to recycle all those broken and messed up crayons from the kids.

In a week or so I will be going to my first midwifery study group/class. Lets cross our fingers no one goes into labor the day of the class (which is what happened last month so it was canceled). I got my first midwifery text book in the mail last week and have almost read the whole thing...I am so ready to go!

I ordered our chickens, we are getting 1 barred rock, 1 black australorpe, and 3 "easter egger" hens. I am very excited. They will be here around Feb 22nd. Baby chicks! We should have eggs by the spring/summer (when they are 5/6 months old). A long wait for eggs...but after that we have at least two years worth of eggs, so I figure I can wait.

I have started a birth/breastfeeding/baby lending library out of my house. If you have any books you would like to donate...just comment below. I will be using them and saving them for the day I have my own office as a midwife. For now, moms in my community are picking them up at my house to read. Education is so important to birth...and having books available for free helps so many mothers learn their options and educate themselves and their partner. Education is a huge goal for me in my area where midwifery has been "dead" for several generations (as well as breastfeeding).

I hope to be able to post more often over the coming weeks. Hang in there with me. If you have any ideas for new posts, please post below!