The Full Birth Story of my Son

This is the story of August’s Birth, both from what I wrote a few days after and what I am adding from memory as of his first birthday. The “added” parts will be [in brackets].

Well August – you are here! You were born on December 29^th, 2010 at 2:57pm. You weighed 6lbs 1oz and were 19 inches long. As I write this, you are laying on the bed in front of me, yawning and looking so heavenly.

On the 28^th, we went in for our midwife appointment. Though I was 2cm dilated and about 70% effaced, she said not to worry, that I wouldn’t be going into labor any time soon…well your daddy and I went into Orlando after the appointment and walked around IKEA [I really wanted the Swedish meatballs, and it was our favorite place to walk. We were at IKEA for about 2 hours.] and the Florida Mall [we were there for about another two hours]. My back was hurting more than usual but I just thought it was because of all the walking. [Now that I look back on it, I had to stop walking often, every few minutes. I was in early labor and thought I was just having back spasms again. Little did I know.]

We came home and had dinner [pork chops, mashed potatoes and gravy, and broccoli, which I cooked] and turned in early. I was very excited about the baby shower the next day. Around 10pm, I started to have contractions, mostly in my lower back. At first I thought it was nothing [more back spasms, which were off and on all evening] but I had timed them anyway. They were lasting about one minute and were about 10 minutes apart. That is the pattern of early labor! I let your dad sleep since I knew he would need it later, and I tried to sleep as well [I was hoping that this would just go away, since I wanted to go the baby shower the next day]. I was woken up at 2:30am with stronger contractions.

I lay in bed and timed those contractions for about an hour. Lasting one minute and only 5 minutes apart – active labor! I decided to go to the bathroom and maybe a shower before waking your dad [Again, I was hoping it would go away. I knew that to make sure it wasn’t a “false alarm” that I could go the bathroom, have some water, and take a shower or bath and see if it died down]. I got to the bathroom and my water broke [Everywhere, movie style]! I carefully walked back to the bedroom and woke David – it was time to go. Luckily your dad thought ahead and already had your bag and mine in the car. [We also got towels for the car, since I was still leaking fluid every time I had a contraction.] We stopped for some Gatorade [Mommy Power Juice!] and hit the road.

The midwife Michelle Gawne was surprised to see us in labor – she had just had our appointment that day. By the time we got there the contractions were about 3 minutes apart and lasting 30 seconds to a minute each [I would say that the car ride was the most uncomfortable part since I couldn’t move or sway with each one. I plugged into my HypnoBirthing and just zoned out totally while your dad drove and called the family]. I was checked for dilation – I was about 6cm I think, and then I got into the Jacuzzi tub. [I also had an IV line put in just long enough to get some medicine in for GBS to protect you just in case, but they put it in pretty fast and then took the line out…Mommy hates needles and IVs.]It was about 4:40am. Your Grandma Michelle got there about 30 minutes later. While your dad and I worked through the contractions we listened to soft music [Lots of Cory Smith, Jewel, Counting Crows, and others from our favorite soft rock groups] and the HypnoBirthing CD [which we had practiced with every night since about the sixth month of the pregnancy]. I was able to stay calm and quiet for most the labor and birth because your dad was such a calming presence. [Your dad was the only person who could tell when I was having a contraction for most of the labor] I had to get in and out of the tub a few times because I was getting too hot, but you were just fine. [Fun fact, the way that I helped to zone out during contractions got more interesting as time went on. Eventually I was having your dad pour cold water slowly down my face during each one. Don’t know why…but it felt perfect.]

At around 10am, things started to get more intense. You were trying to start moving down and I was almost fully dilated. I was in and out of the tub a few more times to try other positions to help you move down. [I really lost track of time, we were in labor at the birth center for about 11-12 hours, but it felt like only a couple of hours to me – I just sort of zoned out.]

I am not sure what time it was, but I started to feel a lot of pressure…that was you moving down into the birth canal. I began to feel the urge to push.  I moved all around. I used the birth stool (not my favorite), the ball, standing, hands and knees on the bed. You would not move down for anything. We figured out that you were stuck at the pubic bone, and tried some more moving. After what seemed like a lifetime, we decided to quickly flip me from hands and knees to laying down flat on my back. With that quick movement - I could feel you make that last turn and start to crown! At this point the crowning/pushing felt like a lifetime. [I only pushed for 15-20 minutes, so it was definitely not a lifetime]. Your dad held my hand and supported my right leg while I started to really push you out. Feeling your little head gave me the power to get you into my arms. It was not the most comfortable feeling in the world, but it wasn’t pain. It was intense and too much to wrap my mind around. I sort of went into some other part of me and knew what to do [The way I would describe it is that my “wild woman” came out and took care of business]. You started your way out and I called for you. It was the most powerful moment I have ever felt. I yelled for you and held out my arms for you. They laid you on my chest and I loved you with every fiber of my being. [You stayed there on my chest for over an hour. Your father and I just admired you and you had your first meal at my breast only minutes after coming into the world. No one poked you, rubbed you, cleaned you, messed with you, until we got our time to meet each other and have a calm hour to ourselves. It was bliss. I cannot even imagine someone taking you from my arms at that time, and I am so glad that we were with a midwife and not in a hospital where they would have taken you away to “check you” before we got our time. You were not removed from my arms or your fathers for about 3 hours after your birth. Those first moments of your life, when we just breathed each other in and gazed at each other are moments that changed my life forever.]



Please ignore the really glamorous hair/face...I had just given birth. :)



It seems that we waited so long for you, and now I can’t believe you are here! I look at you and see a miracle – a little piece of your father and I’s love in the most adorable package. I love you August and I always will, more than you will ever know.

Love, Your mom

Booby Traps, WHO Code, and Me

Okay, so today I got formula samples in the mail.

For the record, my son and I are about a week away from our 1 year exclusive breastfeeding goal. I have never been interested in formula...I have never asked for it. Not once.

Now this is not the first time I have gotten formula in the mail. When my son was only a week old, we received three full size cans of Enfamil in the mail. I gave them away to a mother I knew was using formula already.

I don't know if you are familiar with the term "Booby Traps" - but basically it is the traps that are created by the formula companies/doctors/hospitals/society for moms and babies that confuse or stop the breastfeeding relationship, before it even has a chance to start. A great example of this is free formula given out in the hospital and the "swag bags" that moms take home that are filled with formula and marketing information from formula companies. Here are some great articles about Booby Traps from some other blogging moms and lactivists:

From Best for Babes, which is a great site in general.
From Crunchy Domestic Goddess, has a GREAT post about Booby Traps (this is a great blog in general).

Now many times, if a mom mentions Booby Traps and how they are wrong, she is labeled as a formula hater. She is told she is making formula feeding mothers feel guilty, that she is not helping anyone, etc, etc. I know. I was told that today on a Facebook forum that is supposed to be about talking about breastfeeding and related topics.

The same thing happens when a person says that the WHO International Code for the Marketing of Breast-Milk Substitutes (here - and you have to scroll down when it opens). This code basically sets up the standards under which formula companies worldwide should be marketing their product...which is basically not to market it at all. This is to protect families and the general public from the false information that are made in the ads and publications they put out, as well as protecting them from the free swag they send to everyone.

Let me state this: I am not "against" formula feeding mothers. I am not looking to start a fight. However, I am against any company, entity, or person sending out false information to mothers, families, and babies. That is what formula companies do. That is what happens. Now, yes, there are many women who can make the choice and educated one - they do independent research and decide for themselves how they want to feed their child. However, there are many, many more women who do not know that they need to think about how to feed their child. They do what society and the hospital tells them. Now, society and the hospital may say "Breast is best", but then they give you a bag of formula. What message does that send? So a women accepts it and never considers that she has another choice, and that there are people who will support it whole heartily.

Other people try to say that if you want to breastfeed, a free formula sample is not going to make a difference. Maybe for some that is true. However, for some women, they may be hearing from family "let me feed the baby, just give her a bottle"...the formula is sitting there in the swag bag, and it might start to look tempting...then it is just one bottle...but then it is another so that Grandma can feed baby again...and again. Then the mother's milk supply drops in those first weeks, and the baby doesn't gain as much. The doctor tells the mother that she is not making enough and that she should supplement with more formula. Her supply drops more...and more...and finally, she stops breastfeeding. With her next child, she may not even try since she feels like a failure from the first experience. 

I would also like to point out that all the samples, swag bags, and marketing are driving up the cost of the formula that many families do choose to (or need to) use. Who do you think pays for all that marketing? The families pay for it in the price of the formula.

Bottom line. I believe in choice. I also believe that we have to have our eyes open to the harm that formula "booby traps" can cause for many mother/baby pairs. In this day and age, we have a choice - breastmilk, formula, or a mixture of the two. That choice should be able to be made without a formula company whispering in your ear. (Or you mother, husband, doctor, or hospital for that matter).

I encourage all of you to look at the full list of "booby traps" for mothers and babies. Arm yourself with information and have your eyes wide open.

WTF of the day...

Two WTFs really.

1) A good male friend of mine told me that I am the only woman he has meet (ever) that breastfeeds her child. WTF my town is messed up.

2) He told me that at a local hospital, the OB told his son's mother not to breastfeed (after she said she wanted to) because it will give her breast cancer. WTF WTF WTF....and for good measure....WTF. What do they learn in medical school? And this doc was young, in his thirties...not from the "formula 50's" era.

This is why I actually talk more to men about breastfeeding than anyone else in my life. They have to understand it and know it is normal before they can support the wives/mothers in their life. My husband's support has helped me so much in getting over the few rough patches of breastfeeding.

Away for the weekend

Finally, we are going to be getting out of this little town for the weekend.

I honestly don't know why I ever thought I would settle in this place again...I am ready to run. I hated it as a teen, and I hate it now. I live in a place with no McDonalds, no SuperWalMart (not that I shop there, but just to show you how civilization has not touched this place), and no where that sells organic anything. I have to drive an hour away to get any of those things.

Okay, complaining over...for now.

Anyway we are going out of town this weekend and will be staying with my Mother-in-law (who I actually love). We are also going to to try to see an afternoon movie on Saturday, just the hubby and me. We have not had a date in forever.

Once I get back from the weekend, I am going to be taking a placement test for a work-from-home job. I really hope that I do well and get the job. A second income, even if it is not a whole lot, will really help us be more comfortable and give us some breathing room.

Have a lovely weekend everyone.

Too Much Reading...

Lately there have been articles on every aspect of child rearing/parenting floating around Facebook. I myself have posted several. Everything from car seat safety (please check the new AAP guidelines) to why I don't practice "Cry It Out" (CIO). While I find reading these articles and studies to be interesting, many moms are openly questioning their way of doing things, or admitting that reading them makes them feel guilty.

Now, we all know that studies and articles siting studies are trying to prove something. They are always going to use the evidence and words that prove their side of the argument. For instance, the the CIO debate, there are articles and studies saying that it is okay for A/B/C reasons, and another article or study that states it is harmful for A/B/C reasons. So what is a parent to do?

Follow your gut.

Chances are, if feel like you are doing the right thing by your child, you are. That is not to say that people don't make mistakes - parents do, everyday. But you have to do what you think is best for your family, situation, and the individual child. I know parents who even parent their individual children differently based on their personality and temperament.

Your personal history has alot to do with this as well. For instance, many of my generation were subjected to CIO as babies, simply because that was in fashion at the time with doctors and experts. My parents have told me stories of me being left in my crib to cry until I finally threw up. They would change me and the bed and put me right back in to continue crying. Would I ever do that? No. Maybe it is because, somewhere in my memory, I remember being left alone.

The same logic of doing what you think is best covers many areas. Are you going to have a junk food free diet for your child? Only feed organic and homemade foods? Extended breastfeeding? Even right down to where/how you give birth is a parenting decision - the first one you will ever make.

Basically, my point is this: Read and look at studies, talk to other parents, but don't let words on paper or in other's mouths judge you. Don't feel guilty for doing what you think is best.

Tear Out My Hair Day

Well, today was a tear out my hair day. This is normally caused by one of several things (or a combination):

1) Sick family
2) Sick me
3) Teething
4) Annoying Facebook comments/messages/people in general

Today it was a cranky baby. God bless my little man, but he was a cranky butt today. I think it is all the new-ness of life right now. He is almost walking, and it scares him when he forgets and lets go of the furniture and takes a step or two. He is trying to cut his "eye" teeth, which are some of the most uncomfortable and take quite a while normally. He is also just sort of needy lately, mostly for the reasons I just stated.

He basically camped out in my lap today, and didn't want to move. That is fine most of the day, but sometimes mommy has to go to the bathroom, or go make a sandwich, or check her email to see if she can finally register for her classes. Every time I had to get up, it was a complete melt down. Tears, snot, screams like he was tortured, the whole bit.

I did have a good day otherwise (and trust me, I know this is just a "season" of his time, and I am happy to comfort him). I got to register for my classes (yay...not really excited about that). I am donating breastmilk for the first time, and a friend is taking it to Memphis for me to drop off to the mom. That is will give me some freezer room...I have over 100 oz in there.

All in all a good day, but we all have times as moms (or dads) when we want to tear out our hair and wave a white flag. That was my day today.

Face Plant

Okay, prepare to judge my mom skills. Or laugh...either is fine.

Today my son was in his bouncy/jumper thingy (yes, that is the proper name for it). We have used this for months to great success. He gets to stand and bounce/jump, and I know he is in one spot so I can go to the bathroom.

Today we were doing our baby education time (signing, Your Baby Can Read, and a few other things), and he got cranky. I was just finishing an email to my professor, and told him (while sitting right by him, laptop in hand) "Hold on hun, just let mommy send this". He then stopped whining, grabbed the bars that suspend the contraption, and pulled himself out of the thing.

He then dropped right onto his face, sat up, smiled at me, and clapped.

Yes I just sat and watched. Should I have stopped him from face planting? Probably. Did I really just want to see if he could do it? Yes.

I also wanted to make damn sure that we were really done with that bouncy/jumper thingy...now I have to find something else to contain him while I rush to the bathroom to go pee.