Facebook, Banning, Breastfeeding

Okay, so recently there has been an "outbreak" of banning on Facebook. What are these people being banned for? Trashy pics? Showing nudity? Horrible cursing and nasty/hateful statuses? Guess again.

Breastfeeding pictures.

Moms are being banned, and groups being closed, because of breastfeeding photos. Now I am not talking about nipple showing photos...I am not talking about pictures of milk dripping everywhere....I am talking about pictures of a baby nursing. A baby doing what babies do. A mother doing what mothers do. And these women are being banned.

A mother in my FB mom group posted this picture:

Please leave her watermark if you repost this.

And she was banned. Someone on her friends list reported this photo. Someone at Facebook actually looked at this and thought the reporting was correct and needed and banned her. Can someone explain to me why?

Most people would not even realize she was nursing...even I, who nurses my son everyday, did not even notice until all this happened and I looked at it again. Yet someone felt the need to be so "offended" and report it. Now people can post pictures of their *almost* showing genitals, pictures of a girl standing with only her hands covering her breasts (with no nursing baby in site...in other words no reason to have your boobs out on Facebook), skimpy bathing suits, erotic pictures, lingerie pictures, etc...but breastfeeding pictures are not allowed?

Breastfeeding in America will never become normalized in public and the media if a place like Facebook does this. Did you know that by numbers Facebook is the 3rd largest country in the world? If the 3rd largest country in the world is saying that it is not normal and is scandalous, then what do we expect others to think? When social media is just a driving force in our lives, we need to take a stand for mothers and babies.

If someone can explain to me why nursing pictures are so offensive, please enlighten me.

Oh, and here is one of mine....shocking!

By the way, my mommy friend did get her account back. If you know someone who has been banned for a breastfeeding photo, please let me know, as well as pages like "The Leaky Boob".

Chicken Fever

Sort of like Chicken Pox, only better...and no one is going to want to vaccinate you for it.

Chicken Fever normally hits when you realize that your deep down wish in life is to be a self-sustaining family with a small farm to support your family and maybe make a little money on the side. This is normally followed by Chicken Fever - wanting to put chickens in your own backyard (even in the middle of town) so that you can have farm fresh eggs and have a little bit more self-sufficiency.

I have Chicken Fever...I am ordering chicks soon, and building a coop in the fenced in part of our backyard. We live (literally) in the middle of our town...but I'm not going to actually see if it is allowed. I am just going to do it...we are not getting a rooster, so I don't think anyone will even know they are there (we have no neighbors next to us). If the city gets mad, I will offer some fresh eggs.

More on this soon - as well as lots of exciting news about my advancement in finding a midwife to apprentice under.

Things the Daddy-To-Be Can Do

Here is the picture: You have decided to have a wonderful natural birth. Maybe even out-of-hospital. You are reading and researching and looking up childbirth classes. You are reading birth stories and finding forums online for support from moms who have been-there-done-that.

Now where is Dad in this picture?

Here is what Daddy can do to help you prepare (I will make another post of during labor helpful type things).

1. Be positive. This is the biggie. Mom needs to stay positive, and the person who she is counting on to support her (you!) needs to be positive too.
2. Help her feel beautiful and strong. Tell her. Often. Every day. Repeat as necessary. Feeling confident that her body is awesome, head to toe, will help her mental state of the big day.
3. Get the car ready. Before she is 36 weeks, get the bags packed (but ask her what she wants to take) and get the car seat installed. Get the car seat checked too (you can usually go to the fire station or police station, or a baby store. Call around). Then you and mom will both feel better knowing that everything is ready and safe if labor takes you by surprise. And it always does.
4. Read. Read the birth stories. Watch the birth videos she likes. Talk about whatever she wants to talk about in relation to birth. Read the birth book (or at least the dad chapter) that she gives you.
5. If she wants to talk fears, listen. The act of listening is the best thing you can give to her when she wants to voice those fears. After she voices them, do your research. Find out how to help or avoid that situation and let her know that you are there for her.
6. Be proactive. This goes along with #5. If you think of something you want to know about the birth or labor, find out. Ask the midwife or doctor yourself at the next appointment. Read about it. Google it.
7. Go to the appointments with her (if she wants you there). Try not to miss any. If you are there, you know what is going on and being discussed. You can also help her "pregnancy brain" remember specifics. Trust me, pregnancy is real - more blood goes to the baby, so less goes to the brain. You being there will help her remember what she wants to ask and what was said.
8. Go to the birthing classes.
9. TRUST THAT SHE CAN DO IT.

Now trust me, there are many things that you can do for your partner, and there are lots of books about going out to get ice cream or holding her hair while she pukes. But I never found a book that really covered what dad can do to support a NATURAL birth. So the above is what helped me. 

Unpaper Challenge 2012, an Update

I posted around New Year's that I was taking the unpaper challenge. So far, we have stopped using paper towels all together (there is still a roll in the back of the cabinet, but we don't plan to use it). I am using some cheap washcloths and flat diapers.

I have to say, while I was not patient enough to use flat diapers in actual cloth diapering, I love them for unpaper towels. They are large, so you can use just one of them all day to wipe up messes just by folding over to a new section when it gets dirty.

We have not started to use unpaper in the bathroom yet (also called family cloth). However, I do plan to start on a set for the bathroom soon. I saw a great idea on Pinterest (yes, I am addicted). They made them the size of toilet paper in width, so that it would go on the toilet paper holder. Then they added one snap between each in the middle to make a roll. No more basket for the wipes. Super cute idea, and I think I am going to do mine that way (or maybe just buy them on Etsy...we shall see). I think that some of our friends think we are nuts, but that's okay. I am doing the earth a favor, getting my counters cleaner (those diapers really scrub!), and saving $$$. Not bad in my book.

Wake Up Mom...NOW

So...I just want to tell all of you...babies sleeping through the night like angels...it's a myth.

Yes, some nights they sleep...they may sleep many nights in a row. But all of them wake up in the night at one point or another. So please, don't believe any parent who says other wise...they are lying. I promise. You are not alone.

Take my son for instance. You will remember I posted a few months back that he started to sleep through the night all of a sudden, and our co-sleeping ended just as suddenly. (This made me sad by the way...my snuggle bug was very missed). Literally the night he turned 9 months old, he slept in his crib all night for the first time ever.

Well, shortly before his first birthday he has decided this will just not do. At first I was like, okay, he is just in a growth spurt and this will be over in a week or so. A month later, and it seems to be getting worse. It is not just for nursing, he is just waking up.

I don't mind so much, it's just that he doesn't want to do anything. Once nursing is done he will "play nurse" for a while, then he won't lay down. He just wants to sit. He can't come to bed with me because he stays awake and jumps (literally) all over his daddy and I. I can't put him in his crib because then he screams. He just wants to sit. After about a week of this new behavior, I am at my wits end. I don't know what he wants...I just want him to sleep.

My solution so far...take a nap during the day when he does. Very useful.

Book Review: The Birth House

The Birth House

The Birth House by Ami McKay is a work of fiction, but is based on events in the town where she currently lives. The author moved to Scots Bay, Nova Scotia and lives in an old home in the community. After finding interesting artifacts all over the home and grounds, she discovered that her home was actually the home of the community midwife and served as a birth house. The seed was planted, and this novel is the product.

The book is set during WWI and also the beginning of the scientific movement in the world of birth. It chronicles not only the story of a Traditional midwife passing her knowledge to the next generation, but also the fight that began when doctors decided to join the birth business. It also briefly covers the advent of "cures" for hysteria in women, which at the time basically meant any behavior out a woman other than obedience. The birth of the modern vibrator is due to these cures...so ladies, we can thank crazy doctors for our toys.

The birth scenes in the book are very raw and powerful, and the author took great pains to get them correct, speaking with midwives while writing the scenes. The herbal treatments used in the books actually have root in many of the herbal remedies used today by midwives. For those interested in midwifery and the history of the profession, this is a great read for that purpose.

I enjoyed the way the book is written, which is almost as a scrapbook of sorts. It includes not only the narration, but also news clippings, ads, letters, and other memorabilia. It does not do this in an annoying way (like a kids book or some other novels I have read), but rather just sort of slips it in. It adds to the realism of the story.  

I don't want to give away the plot, since this is a work of fiction (I hate when reviews do that), but I will say that it captures your attention and will not let go. I did not know that the book was based on the home the author lived in, but after knowing that (in the afterward), it makes the book seem that much more rich.

My star rating: 4 of 5

What? Do you think you are going to get a medal or something?

Natural Birth. No drugs. No epidural. Just you and your body.

When a mother says she wants to do that, one of the many comments thrown out is the above - "You are not going to get a medal...just take the drugs and be comfortable."

You know what. I do want a medal. But not for the birth. The birth was wonderful. The birth was empowering. The birth showed me a side of myself that I have never met before. The birth made a mother out of a girl, a family out of a couple, and brought my son to the other side to meet us face to face. I don't need a medal for that.

However, I think I need a medal for standing up for the OB we saw who laughed at my desire for a natural birth. I deserve a medal for proving to my peers that birth is not trial or a pain, it is a passage. I deserve a medal for fighting my insurance company to cover my midwife. I deserve a medal for standing against the tide of society and doing what was best for my baby, my self, and my family. I deserve a medal for continuing to have the courage to tell my birth story to anyone who will listen and also share my breastfeeding experience.

I think that mothers need to understand that you don't have to be humble about your natural birth. How is the world supposed to know that it was beautiful if you don't tell them? My telling my birth story is not to "hate on" mothers who didn't do it that way. It is not about you. It is not a judgement on you. Why should you get to tell your traumatic birth story to every pregnant woman you meet, like some war story, but I cannot share mine?

Belly Cast Done!

Finally got this thing done...and my son is a year old. After alot of thought, decided to just smooth it out, put a semi-gloss white coat on it, and just write his birth information on the belly.

I was thinking that I was going to do something crazy and creative (I did go to art school after all), but after looking at it I just went for simple.

Here is what I did:

1. Let it dry/cure. I let mine sit a year...totally don't need to do it that long. As long as it is not super humid, a week should be plenty of time
2. I did a light sanding with a fine grain sanding block, just to get off the really rough stuff.
3. I applied joint compound to the whole cast with my fingers, filling in spots and rubbing it into the texture as I went.
4. Let dry again. Make sure you let it go overnight at least.
5. Sand again. If you still have some bad spots, you can do steps 3 and 4 again.
6. Cast is now ready for painting. Apply a coat of Gesso (primer) to get it ready for what ever else you are going to do. If you are going to decoupage it, you can skip the Gesso.

I applied a semi-gloss white paint (it is actually a house trim paint we had left over from doing the house). I then just took a Sharpie and printed his info on the belly. I didn't trim off the rough edges of mine, since I like it. You can trim them with sharp scissors. I would do it before you add the joint compound.

There are a couple things I want to do for the next one. 1) I want to do it standing up...you can cast the underside of the belly and you don't distort the belly shape at all like you do when you are sitting (mine is a little spread out). 2) I want to put his foot prints inside where he kicked the most. I saw this on another blog, and loved the idea. His feet are too big to do it now. 3) I want to take a picture of my baby inside the cast. I wanted to do this, but somehow we forgot, and they grow so fast.

I have this on top of our entertainment center in the living room. :)

Book Review Series

I am going to start a book review series soon. I read all the time, and would love to share my experience with not only birth/baby/breastfeeding books, but also the fictional books I read as well. Here are some titles I am thinking about:

• Pushed: The Painful Truth About Childbirth and Modern Maternity Care
• Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth
• Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Breastfeeding
• Birth Matters
• The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding
• Into These Hands

These are just a few...I have many, many more I will reviewing for you. I hope to start on this soon (since I have read all these books already).

Plan for the New Year

So, I totally forgot about a great opportunity not far from me.

I need to start taking some midwifery classes or at least meet with some midwifes in the area (closest are an hour or so away). I emailed those midwives in November and they informed me that not only would they love to meet me with me, but that they do a midwifery series once a month. The midwife I contacted, and a midwife from The Farm (!!!!) holds the classes each month. Even better...they only cost $100 per class. That is not bad at all considering that if I were to go to the series at The Farm it is going to cost me about $1000.

So after we get our transportation squared away, I am going to try to get to those every month.

Yay! for a plan.