Booby Traps, WHO Code, and Me

Okay, so today I got formula samples in the mail.

For the record, my son and I are about a week away from our 1 year exclusive breastfeeding goal. I have never been interested in formula...I have never asked for it. Not once.

Now this is not the first time I have gotten formula in the mail. When my son was only a week old, we received three full size cans of Enfamil in the mail. I gave them away to a mother I knew was using formula already.

I don't know if you are familiar with the term "Booby Traps" - but basically it is the traps that are created by the formula companies/doctors/hospitals/society for moms and babies that confuse or stop the breastfeeding relationship, before it even has a chance to start. A great example of this is free formula given out in the hospital and the "swag bags" that moms take home that are filled with formula and marketing information from formula companies. Here are some great articles about Booby Traps from some other blogging moms and lactivists:

From Best for Babes, which is a great site in general.
From Crunchy Domestic Goddess, has a GREAT post about Booby Traps (this is a great blog in general).

Now many times, if a mom mentions Booby Traps and how they are wrong, she is labeled as a formula hater. She is told she is making formula feeding mothers feel guilty, that she is not helping anyone, etc, etc. I know. I was told that today on a Facebook forum that is supposed to be about talking about breastfeeding and related topics.

The same thing happens when a person says that the WHO International Code for the Marketing of Breast-Milk Substitutes (here - and you have to scroll down when it opens). This code basically sets up the standards under which formula companies worldwide should be marketing their product...which is basically not to market it at all. This is to protect families and the general public from the false information that are made in the ads and publications they put out, as well as protecting them from the free swag they send to everyone.

Let me state this: I am not "against" formula feeding mothers. I am not looking to start a fight. However, I am against any company, entity, or person sending out false information to mothers, families, and babies. That is what formula companies do. That is what happens. Now, yes, there are many women who can make the choice and educated one - they do independent research and decide for themselves how they want to feed their child. However, there are many, many more women who do not know that they need to think about how to feed their child. They do what society and the hospital tells them. Now, society and the hospital may say "Breast is best", but then they give you a bag of formula. What message does that send? So a women accepts it and never considers that she has another choice, and that there are people who will support it whole heartily.

Other people try to say that if you want to breastfeed, a free formula sample is not going to make a difference. Maybe for some that is true. However, for some women, they may be hearing from family "let me feed the baby, just give her a bottle"...the formula is sitting there in the swag bag, and it might start to look tempting...then it is just one bottle...but then it is another so that Grandma can feed baby again...and again. Then the mother's milk supply drops in those first weeks, and the baby doesn't gain as much. The doctor tells the mother that she is not making enough and that she should supplement with more formula. Her supply drops more...and more...and finally, she stops breastfeeding. With her next child, she may not even try since she feels like a failure from the first experience. 

I would also like to point out that all the samples, swag bags, and marketing are driving up the cost of the formula that many families do choose to (or need to) use. Who do you think pays for all that marketing? The families pay for it in the price of the formula.

Bottom line. I believe in choice. I also believe that we have to have our eyes open to the harm that formula "booby traps" can cause for many mother/baby pairs. In this day and age, we have a choice - breastmilk, formula, or a mixture of the two. That choice should be able to be made without a formula company whispering in your ear. (Or you mother, husband, doctor, or hospital for that matter).

I encourage all of you to look at the full list of "booby traps" for mothers and babies. Arm yourself with information and have your eyes wide open.

WTF of the day...

Two WTFs really.

1) A good male friend of mine told me that I am the only woman he has meet (ever) that breastfeeds her child. WTF my town is messed up.

2) He told me that at a local hospital, the OB told his son's mother not to breastfeed (after she said she wanted to) because it will give her breast cancer. WTF WTF WTF....and for good measure....WTF. What do they learn in medical school? And this doc was young, in his thirties...not from the "formula 50's" era.

This is why I actually talk more to men about breastfeeding than anyone else in my life. They have to understand it and know it is normal before they can support the wives/mothers in their life. My husband's support has helped me so much in getting over the few rough patches of breastfeeding.

Away for the weekend

Finally, we are going to be getting out of this little town for the weekend.

I honestly don't know why I ever thought I would settle in this place again...I am ready to run. I hated it as a teen, and I hate it now. I live in a place with no McDonalds, no SuperWalMart (not that I shop there, but just to show you how civilization has not touched this place), and no where that sells organic anything. I have to drive an hour away to get any of those things.

Okay, complaining over...for now.

Anyway we are going out of town this weekend and will be staying with my Mother-in-law (who I actually love). We are also going to to try to see an afternoon movie on Saturday, just the hubby and me. We have not had a date in forever.

Once I get back from the weekend, I am going to be taking a placement test for a work-from-home job. I really hope that I do well and get the job. A second income, even if it is not a whole lot, will really help us be more comfortable and give us some breathing room.

Have a lovely weekend everyone.

Too Much Reading...

Lately there have been articles on every aspect of child rearing/parenting floating around Facebook. I myself have posted several. Everything from car seat safety (please check the new AAP guidelines) to why I don't practice "Cry It Out" (CIO). While I find reading these articles and studies to be interesting, many moms are openly questioning their way of doing things, or admitting that reading them makes them feel guilty.

Now, we all know that studies and articles siting studies are trying to prove something. They are always going to use the evidence and words that prove their side of the argument. For instance, the the CIO debate, there are articles and studies saying that it is okay for A/B/C reasons, and another article or study that states it is harmful for A/B/C reasons. So what is a parent to do?

Follow your gut.

Chances are, if feel like you are doing the right thing by your child, you are. That is not to say that people don't make mistakes - parents do, everyday. But you have to do what you think is best for your family, situation, and the individual child. I know parents who even parent their individual children differently based on their personality and temperament.

Your personal history has alot to do with this as well. For instance, many of my generation were subjected to CIO as babies, simply because that was in fashion at the time with doctors and experts. My parents have told me stories of me being left in my crib to cry until I finally threw up. They would change me and the bed and put me right back in to continue crying. Would I ever do that? No. Maybe it is because, somewhere in my memory, I remember being left alone.

The same logic of doing what you think is best covers many areas. Are you going to have a junk food free diet for your child? Only feed organic and homemade foods? Extended breastfeeding? Even right down to where/how you give birth is a parenting decision - the first one you will ever make.

Basically, my point is this: Read and look at studies, talk to other parents, but don't let words on paper or in other's mouths judge you. Don't feel guilty for doing what you think is best.

Tear Out My Hair Day

Well, today was a tear out my hair day. This is normally caused by one of several things (or a combination):

1) Sick family
2) Sick me
3) Teething
4) Annoying Facebook comments/messages/people in general

Today it was a cranky baby. God bless my little man, but he was a cranky butt today. I think it is all the new-ness of life right now. He is almost walking, and it scares him when he forgets and lets go of the furniture and takes a step or two. He is trying to cut his "eye" teeth, which are some of the most uncomfortable and take quite a while normally. He is also just sort of needy lately, mostly for the reasons I just stated.

He basically camped out in my lap today, and didn't want to move. That is fine most of the day, but sometimes mommy has to go to the bathroom, or go make a sandwich, or check her email to see if she can finally register for her classes. Every time I had to get up, it was a complete melt down. Tears, snot, screams like he was tortured, the whole bit.

I did have a good day otherwise (and trust me, I know this is just a "season" of his time, and I am happy to comfort him). I got to register for my classes (yay...not really excited about that). I am donating breastmilk for the first time, and a friend is taking it to Memphis for me to drop off to the mom. That is will give me some freezer room...I have over 100 oz in there.

All in all a good day, but we all have times as moms (or dads) when we want to tear out our hair and wave a white flag. That was my day today.

Face Plant

Okay, prepare to judge my mom skills. Or laugh...either is fine.

Today my son was in his bouncy/jumper thingy (yes, that is the proper name for it). We have used this for months to great success. He gets to stand and bounce/jump, and I know he is in one spot so I can go to the bathroom.

Today we were doing our baby education time (signing, Your Baby Can Read, and a few other things), and he got cranky. I was just finishing an email to my professor, and told him (while sitting right by him, laptop in hand) "Hold on hun, just let mommy send this". He then stopped whining, grabbed the bars that suspend the contraption, and pulled himself out of the thing.

He then dropped right onto his face, sat up, smiled at me, and clapped.

Yes I just sat and watched. Should I have stopped him from face planting? Probably. Did I really just want to see if he could do it? Yes.

I also wanted to make damn sure that we were really done with that bouncy/jumper thingy...now I have to find something else to contain him while I rush to the bathroom to go pee.

My thoughts on ABORTION

That's right...I said it. Abortion. That thing you are not supposed to talk about. Because it makes people mad. It makes people defensive. So, I'm going to talk about it.

My basic thoughts on abortion are this: I don't agree with it for me, personally. I think that it should be reserved for A) Rape or incest cases, where the mother feels emotionally unable to carry to term; B) Major medical issues for mother or baby, meaning that mother or baby would be killed/maimed/harmed from the birth. I can say now that "I would never have an abortion", but I have also never been in a situation where I would have to consider one. If I were to find out that (God forbid) my next child were to be born with a massive physical deformity that would render their life painful, I don't know what I would do.

Now, the bigger reason that I want to discuss this.

The point of allowing abortion in the first place, was to give women the ultimate control over their body and reproduction. This allowed women to chose, safely, to not have a child that they did not want or could not take care of. Some people may not understand that stance, but that is the basis of why abortion is legal.

Now, if you take that right away, then you have to ask the question....who is in control of the woman's body? The woman? The baby? The medical world? The government? And where does that control stop? Where is the line drawn? Is birth control outlawed? Technically, you are "aborting" a pregnancy before it has a chance to start, if you think that conception is the start of life. It is common knowledge that the egg and sperm meet before the body is "pregnant" (they meet in the Fallopian tubes). The fertilized egg has to implant into the side of the uterus before the body recognizes that you are pregnant. Birth control stops an egg from being able to implant (by messing with the lining that it would implant in). So by not letting that fertilized egg implant, you are stopping that baby from growing and ultimately being born. So if abortion is outlawed, it is only one more step to outlawing birth control.

With those two steps, a woman has little control over her reproduction. Now lets take it to the next step.

A woman gets pregnant, whether on purpose or not. She receives prenatal care, and comes to the end of the journey and gives birth. How does she give birth? Can she have a home birth? Use a birth center? Use a midwife at all? Can she decide to have a Cesarean Section if that is what she wants? If we do not have control over our reproduction anymore, then who is to say that we have control over how the birth happens? Where is happens? With who?

Did you know that even now, a woman can be forced by court order to have a Cesarean Section against her will? Such as this case. There are also untold cases of women who are coerced into a cesarean by her doctor, as the stories on sites such as The Unnecesarean share from women all over. Women are basically forced by hospitals and the "establishment" to have multiple Cesareans based on guidelines given by ACOG (even though with every Cesarean, the risk of complications rises). Very few hospitals allow VBACs (vaginal birth after cesarean), even though they are a much safer option for most mothers based on research. These women are forced to either go it alone or bend to the will of the doctors and hospitals if they have no other options in the area (such as a midwife who takes on VBACs).

Many states still "outlaw" homebirth, or make it very hard for midwives to practice. This means that the choice in birth is taken away for many women. If you do not have access to choice, then you have no choice.

Where do we draw the line? Where do we think that the government will draw the line? I am not willing to let them draw that line on me, my body, my baby, or my family. If agreeing to keep abortion legal and safe means that my other reproductive and bodily rights are respected, then so be it.